My birthday has come, and past. I turned 21 the 7th.

It wasn't much. Similar to last year. We made due with what we had. My parents wanted me to...have something. It wasn't a whole lot, but they got me 3 used games I had been wanting for nearly a year now.

And, my boyfriend somehow got me dissidia: final fantasy.

I appreciate it, what they did to make me feel something, on my birthday. But...I can't really be too happy.

I'm working as hard as I can right now. With my dad's unemployment and my paychecks, we've been able to stay somewhat above water. $1,200.00 in Health Insurance for my mom, and 800.00 for our house payment, not including utilities, is quite a hurdle to get over, each and every month.

But, now...My dad's unemployment runs out, after the 1st of January 2010. I make about 1,000 every month, give or take...and it's not going to be enough. My parents don't want me to stress, but...I can't help it. My anxiety right now is just running rampant. I'm not going to be able to keep us afloat. Eventually, we will most likely lose our insurance, which we need. My mother's prescriptions, alone, are most expensive by themselves, than what we pay for insurance each month. Even then, if we let it lapse...if they ever get insurance again, thanks to the lovely US of A's healthcare system, the company can list every. Single. Thing. Wrong with my mother as pre-existing, and won't cover a thing for it.

After insurance, goes the house. I just..I don't know what I'm going to do, anymore. I'm at a loss. I could always try to get another job, and try to juggle them, but...I fear it won't be enough.

I just...I really do not know what to do...

Work. Life. Ugh.

Well, I got the job at Walgreens. I'm a Service clerk slash Photospecialist. Course, most of my money is going to help out the family, until dad gets a job. -___- We're borderline redzone as it is.

Anyway...

Yay! Art of my Sonna. Woohoo! Now I just need to get some artwork done of my other characters.

I got a job interview at Walgreens, wednesday, at 9

...


I'm freaking.

AHHH, I NEED TO FIND SOMETHING TO WEAR

*Runs off*

Until I'm 21, and can legally drink and gamble!

Cause...

It's after midnight. It's the 7th.

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.

*Dances*

"If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counselling
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless.
People who don’t have any are liars."


I Fear…

[ ] the dark
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[x] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[x] closed spaces (I'm some-what claustrophobic. Little moving room makes me nervous)
[x] heights (Extreme heights scare me to death. T-T)
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[x] spiders (Only the poisonous ones...)
[ ] flowers or other plants

Total so far: 4

[ ] being touched
[ ] deep water
[x] snakes (Especially the poisonous ones. *shudder*)
[ ] silk
[x] failure (I always hate letting others down..)
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[ ] rats
[x] jumping from high places
[ ] snow

Total so far: 7

[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[ ] death
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed
[ ] falling
[ ] clowns
[x] dolls (They FREAK ME OUT.)
[x] large crowds of people (I always feel like I'm standing out and everybody is staring at me)
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[ ] tornadoes

Total so far: 9

[ ] hurricanes
[ ] incurable diseases
[x] sharks (Anything that big, with that many teeth, scares me the hell out.)
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[x] school (I've ALWAYS hated school)
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[x] being alone (My biggest fear is ending up alone in life...Even if I won't, not with who I'm with now.)
[x] becoming blind
[x] becoming deaf (I love my senses..)
[ ] growing up

Total so far: 14

[x] creepy noises in the night (Especially when I'm alone/outside)
[ ] bee stings
[ ] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[x] needles (I'm not as bad...but certain types still scare me)
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[x] high speed (Only when not in something protected, such as a car.)
[ ] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secrets

Grand total of 18.

Wow...I'm normal. That's odd, considering my medical conditions.